What's that dull thudding noise? Seriously, am I hearing footsteps above the kitchen ceiling?
No way, is that the sound of pipes moving in the airing cupboard? Moving like someone trying to yank them hastily from their fixings?
Oh, it is. It can't be the neighbours below, whom we know are in the midst of big DIY at the mo; the giveaway is from paint flecks falling downwards from the cupboard ceiling as the pipes are tugged.
A couple of "oi, what the fuck do you think you're doing"s stops it all quickly. A shuffle of fleeing footsteps follows.
Yes, live proof that the scrap metal strippers are here.