By the time 5.30am rolls around this morning, the installation of a new front door will have taken nearly 12 hours to complete (give or take beer breaks, continued recoiling from the Sitex/police events and shoddy attempts at dinner-making).
When we start off just after 5pm on Wednesday with our reluctant DIY skills, Rhoderocker and me have no idea what we are getting into.
We start by nailing a wooden post to the doorframe, to reinforce it and give the new door something to connect with (it is slightly slimmer in width than the hallway).
This is our spare door by the way, and our attempt to hack off the top with the type of saw that tree surgeons use.
Partway through the sawing, we swap it for a hardwood door, which Kitchen Sink Neighbour has eagle-eyed for us three blocks away. Heavy to carry back, it is solid and thick, the type of door you need to withstand being kicked in.
After removing its own hinges and attaching it our doorframe, we hit a snag : the new hardwood door doesn't close!
Still, the general idea is there.
After (probably) committing criminal damage to the top of the doorframe (by chiselling at it so that the new door can fit comfortably beneath), and five hours or so of continual work, we stop. Sawing and inane screwdriving can quickly bust shoulder joints and sour minds.
Work resumes just after 1am, with Diagram Drawing Electrician's carpentry expertise running alongside us.
As a result, the door is rehinged and rehung -- yes, hung. You hang a door, we are informed. You don't put a door on. It takes considered precision and patience.
Once rehung, the angle grinder is used to remove one of the door's original hinges that we neglected to unscrew first time round (eg. pre-10.30pm aka worn out).
And then it is hung and then re-hung again, this time so we can hack off the top of the door and reposition the wooden post so the door can be closed properly.
Here is our new front door, at last.
It is roughly 5.30am by the time we finish. I never want to see a door hinge again.
Here is the new door once more, with its own Section 6 warning, alongside its Sitex compatriot.